laidback and juvenile
but sometimes he surprises you with simple truths
or his ability to say touching words that actually touches
and makes cynism seems, cynical
i wonder if i havent been a little unfair to him when i dissected his psyche under my own microscope
he reminds me of things i have forgotten that i have deliberately overlooked
cares a lot about how my hair looks, the last configuration
tells me it looks best pin up about five times phrased differently but somwhat similar due to the subject matter
the suicide notes that i found humorous are not so funny anymorehe makes me wonder at the dysfuntionality of black humor
how we've chosen to be cruel to ourselves
" you din't enjoy it?'"
"no, it was depressing"
" yeah"
" the people were really depressed when they wrote that"
yeah, of course i know the people were depressed but why didnt it mean anything to me until now
he talks to me patiently like a therapist
as you know i can be a hard nut
" are you a therapist?"
"no, i'm trying to understand your problem better."
"that's very nice of you"
in fact after some q and a, i realize perhaps i don't really have that big a problem with school
lately i have found the face of a colleague totally irksome
in response, he says one must never hate, as it only eats one up and makes one miserable
it just sound so true when he goes 'don't hate anyone'
'i just found him irksome'
yeah, i won't hate him then
" just dun do drugs and no suicide"
"hmmm"
"dun hmmm hmmm around here"
"ok"
and he goes on like an old man
you can see me smiling a lot there
"i'll cherish you"
i just kept smiling
then i realize what a nice thing it was that he just said that i didn't expect or even wish for
he really injects the idea of postivity into me
he hopes we would always be like that talking, for decades, to the next millenuem
at this point i wanna tell him when i go, he must forget me
but i don't because for once, i recgonised, that would be cruel
i will cherish you too
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