arsenic powder on her fingers

mr ash asked after his bento
i have arsenic powder on my fingers
i want to say they are fine

i do not want to say i've been rereading the introductory essay to madame bovary
i do not want to say, fried udon, tofu salad, cod fish with rice, teriyaki broccoli and tofu salad
not because i keep deliberating between udon and rice
not because they are already 3 weeks overdued

because your maid will cook according to the menu i decide for the bento
i want to say i can name something fanciful i can't cook
i want to sound insincere
i want to say i've lose interest in the bento

on pg 216, it says
il ne faut pas toucher aux idoles: la dorure en reste aux mains
we both know
i'll never cook for you

each time we turn our immaculate napkin rings
the ironic transposition of our separate existence
catches
how could you believe in the bento?
i want to say something that i can cook

we must not touch our idols: the gilt sticks to our fingers

you can smell my fingers

i can't say