if we stay away from each other

ít's not difficult
life goes on, i see my friends and some romantic intrigues here and there
days pass like that
and a day job of banal duties and amusing young adults
and sometimes friendships are found
and i no longer ask what's the point
what's the point of asking

if i stay away from you if i pretend not to hear you
i could go on like that
most of the times i don't reply
but once in a long while
i need to say your name to you
i need to hear you say 'J?'
and that would do
until you no longer beg me to talk

but last nite, i said a little more. "do you like the cd i sent?"

"i do. are you alright?"

i am not alright but that's alright. "yes. just wanna hear your voice"

"these days, i'm finding it hard to hear my voice"

i feel unsympathetic. "listen to yourself."
......

i don't think of you much and your voice no longer makes my heart skip
but sometimes when i hear it, it makes me want to weep
i wonder why
so i sent you the cd you asked for
a week late
but that's fine
everything good in life comes too late
i told myself if i never send it would be like you've never asked
but i did and signed off as trevlkovsky

i felt very depressed after talking to you
and saw keith on msn
i told him i was very depressed and not to reply
he did and said some amusing and uplifting stuff
and never pressed me for the reason
i told him i'm old enough to die
he said it's the lamest shit he's ever heard as i'm one of the youngest around
i said i thought last year that 30 is high time to go, how long and how low can the lows get?
and he said i look too young to be 30 soon and that this is one of those times that truth doesn't hurt...
i said smoking and drinking helps....
he said he's sure i would find the point of living
it sounds like crap but it worked
"sorry to bleed my guts on you"
"that's ok, i'm such a good listener. you should have a good rest."

that's keith, talking like our age gap has reversed its poles